Leave me breathing

With time comes resurrection,
with time comes healing,
but the scar remains,
carved on the skin,
marked for life,
a stubborn reminder of the wound,
once fresh and painful,
died to blotter into amnesia,
failed to forget.

The fairytale of happiness,
insists to thrive in disbelief,
too good to be true,
too scared to be considered real,
too doubtful to just live and let live,
holding on tightly,
afraid to blink for a millisecond,
for fear it may slip away.

The skeletons in my closet,
emerge from their purgatorial grave,
to greet me with mocking stares,
and lopsided grins,
daring me to falter,
knocking my knees to the ground,
as I beg for redemption,
breathlessly fighting for air,
battling with the past that haunts me.

Leave me, let me be,
stop threatening fate,
which has brought me back to life,
let me love, let me live,
keep my heart beating,
for every time he makes it stop and start racing again,
leave me breathing,
for every time he takes my breath away.

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Just because...

The thought of you,
as I sculpt my metaphors,
a tapestry of meaning,
a spectrum of signs,
entangled in emotion,
expressions of the soul,
concept of nirvana,
theory of relativity,
coexistence between us two.

Your love is oil on my skin,
placid liquid,
may slip through my hands,
but remains,
stays long after the sun sets,
as you take repose,
I miss you when you sleep,
reach for you when I dream,
and greet the morning,
an invitation to see you once more.

Where there is blindness,
there is a mesh of valued truths,
and surprising realities,
in light of contradiction,
underlies sweet affection,
a diamond in the rough,
shines through,
the only real thing,
in the world,
the artificial sphere,
this place we call earth.

Our affair,
like splatters of color,
on a blank canvass,
children chasing butterflies,
splashing puddles,
pillow fights,
stealing cookies from the cookie jar,
milkshakes and cotton candy,
as it grows,
we look back at baby steps,
reminisce,
about how it all began.

Contemplating,
why I am deaf to the clock ticking,
stranded in a moment with you,
why my blood ceases to fuel my heart beat,
at the sight of a frown on your face,
could be because life is short,
ignorance is never bliss,
for we don't know,
the lifeline of our moments,
could be because your smile,
etched in my memory,
has become a part of me...

Maybe because of this feeling,
snug like a baby's blanket,
safe in private refuge,
maybe because there's nothing,
I'd rather do than be close,
and closer still,
to the open doors,
your open arms that envelope me,
and if you seek a reason,
a penny for my thoughts,
a token from my lips,
it's just because...

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Missing yesterday...

Solitaire.
Engaged in memories.
Mental pictures of days that have elapsed.
Long walks. Indefinite talks.
Lost with each other and lost in one another.
The murmurs of sweet-nothings amongst the crowd.
Smiles. Laughter.
Justifies the good in morning and night.
Occasional bad coffee, but not too bad after all.
Dinners though not by candlelight, tasteful just the same.
Dessert behind closed doors.
Stop. Breathe.
Time stands still.
Infusion of air.
Coalescent vigor at the slightest touch.
Tingles rushing through every nerve...electric, seductive, elusive.
Pictorial thoughts. Living dreams.
It started from a moment.
Grew into a consequential chain of moments.
Until it became an existence.
Bewitching stares. Captivating sighs.
A grip so tight, no escape...but need no escape.
A battle of physical possession, no mercy...but no casualties.
Quivering whispers. Secrets exchanged.
The mind speaks through lips trailing moisture on the surface it explores.
The eyes act through fingers drawing heat maps on fertile terrain.
Taking in. Giving more.
Two bodies tracing sketches of desire on the sheets.
Deep, adoring, loving, sensual...embracing the gravitational pull of nature.
A day feels like a lifetime. Days pass...lifetimes seem too short.
We pack our memories in a suitcase.
Keep it in a sacred place where we can relive...
The touch, the sounds, the sights, the scents, the taste of yesterday.

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Falling into you

I wish you could taste the words right from my lips,
The words that linger, trickle from my thoughts.
If only I had the courage to utter the word 'yes',
Take you, hold you, be everything in the world to you.
Goosebumps, when your skin brushes against mine,
Missing you, when I don't see you, though ten feet away.
For fear, I hold blatant secrets, seen only in my eyes,
Look deeply, fall into me, as I am falling into you.

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Shipwreck

Another hand in your hand, Another (in)significant in your head
Another temporary kiss, Another ghost in your bed

To touch but not to feel, To strike fear in romance,
To threaten emotion, To throw commitment in the gutter

Learning to say 'no' to one who comes knocking
Learning to stop the heart from falling

Struggling to come up for air, dying to live
Struggling not to care too much, diving in indecision

Smiles yet to be shared, Tears ought to remain hidden
Smiles to hide the piercing thoughts, Tears - a sign of weakness

To live with a time-bomb hanging over your heart
To die with each second it ticks - killing you slowly

You think there is none but your own gratification
You think others need to follow your own rules

Selfishly taking from another who gives selflessly
Sensitivity owing nothing after you get what you want

You sucked from the nectar and seeped blood instead
You drank the wine to the very last drop, then set the bottle aside

A vile, stone-cold rock disguised in a human body
A cruel, empty crack hole - your painful excuse for a soul

You breathed life into one that was barely breathing
You then cut off the source with careless euthanasia

I could wish you all the best, but you don't deserve it
I could wish you'd someday change, but I won't hold my breath.

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Winter Sunshine

Winter sunshine spreads over the bed we lay on,
Silent whispers beneath the blanket of dreams,
Scarcely waiting for moments to come to an end,
Swift goodbyes with stolen glances threatening to look back.
Thoughts that could appeal with words never to be uttered,
Words left unsaid to never make promises bound to be broken.
Sleep well baby, as I warily kiss the shell that surrounds your being,
Sleep sound baby, no need for a kiss goodnight cause I'll see you in the morning.

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Desert Rain

The desert wind blows in an expanse that stretches far beyond forever,
Particles of sand traces adorning footprints on a sleeping nymph.
An oasis opens a hemorrhage through the barren lands,
And awakens the dormant anatomy of the beautiful beast.
The desert Venus emerges from beneath the dusty blanket,
She crawls on her hands and knees towards the beguiling desert spring.
The oasis limits to an interim quench of pungent thirst,
For tis but a mirage to last for the very moment it takes to last.
But within the moment the heavens open to give birth to rain,
Each droplet planting wet kisses on her parted lips.
She tries to balance herself on the moistened desert sand,
Two feet sinking half-way into the warmth of nature's intercourse.
From a drizzle to a torrid downpour, the rain beats against her hips,
Holds fast to her spine, sliding down her thighs, while lightning and thunder rage.
Fixated, hydrated, anesthetized by the waves of cold and hot floods,
She relishes the moment of bewitching circumstances.
Then in the last hour, the heavens run dry, the open wound heals,
The oasis crystallizes into the horizon, the richness in the earth evaporates,
The sun returns, and the moon says goodnight.

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Woman & Child

An old woman, in the body of a child,
An aged grace, an unhappy face.
The ancient walls that keep breaking down,
The disenchanted world, that haunts the little girl.
Wrinkles on her brow, scattered round her lips,
Vanishing with every smile, that lasts for just a while.
If all the world's a stage, then love is make-believe,
A twisted tale, a lover - a pretender, an endless journey failed.
The child holds out, to be led the way,
Beseech her porcelain heart not to crack, the woman holds back.
Disloyal trust, blind atonement conceived by innocence,
A molten void of treacherous lies, said by bitter goodbyes.
To love or not to love, the question be a mockery,
To love - a myth, to not love - a heresy, no way out of it.
The old woman, says her silent prays to the One above,
As the child sits and cries, mulling over every tear from her eyes.
On attempted voyages, the woman and child hold hands to find their common souls,
But the soul keeps wandering, the heart keeps flailing, the body plays a corpse.
How will you know what it feels like when your sense of feeling is dead and gone,
Tell me, how do you love when you don't know how to accept love completely.
Lost in the mist, lost in the valley, lost in the eyes of the beholder,
Drowning in denial, falling into a well of self-deception and mental trials.
The woman wants to run, the child wants to stay,
The traffic between them causes fatal accidents along the way.
The wings of love, ripped off by the wind, and thrown into the storm,
To do or to die, to love or to cry, to be or not to be...
...the one faith, one redemption, one resurrection for me.

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Disclaimer

Careful to light candles that may tip and cause a fire,
In rapid rage…can consume the Amazon rainforest,
And open the gateway to hell…where quench be null.

Careful to look too deeply into my eyes and steal my soul,
Know the legality that my heart can be stolen too,
But refuse the key that will let it out of prison hold.

Careful with your words and actions that proceed,
Words...denotations of possibilities and probabilities,
Actions...connotations of idiosyncrasies brought to life.

Careful to lay me down on a bed of roses,
When I’ve been laid down on a bed of ice,
And know the feeling of a bed of thorns.

Careful to play conductor to a symphony duet,
While strumming the guitar…fingers along my ribcage,
And beating the drums…meteor bodies in collision.

Careful to trip and fall as you walk down the plank,
Keep your balance, do not falter, strain your logic,
When you get to the edge, don't wade your feet in the water.

Careful to go too far out into sea as you may get lost,
In the rapturous waves of hushed, private gratification,
Keep this disclaimer in your pocket or you won’t find your way back…

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Don't!

Don't look at me as if you know the reason behind my frown.
Don't think you can leverage my sorrow whenever I feel down.
Don't look at me so intently with that tainted stare.
Don't make me feel like melting when you can't know that I care.

Don't talk to me and make me feel as if you were my best friend.
Don't get any closer 'cause it's more than I can stand.
Don't let me listen to your luring whispers in my ear.
Don't try to tease me with a charisma that I do utmost fear.

Don't point at dangers if you're trying to win my heart.
Don't give me possibilities of my life where you played a part.
Don't kiss me like you've never kissed another woman before.
Don't lean against me as if you eagerly want to explore.

Don't give me chocolate when I'm wading in safe waters.
Don't try to convince me that wine tastes sweeter after.
Don't take my trembles for hindered passion brewing.
Don't move in to hear me sigh and find pleasure in my breathing.

Don't make me succumb, running your fingers through every strand.
Don't steal my soul, as you threaten to make love to me with your hands.
Don't make me let my hair down 'cause I know where this is gonna go.
Don't make me question why I hate you because you confuse me so.

Don't seduce me with your spirit, that alarms my every nerve.
Don't give me reason to crave the blind euphoria which you feel I deserve.
Don't caress the moistness of my skin beneath your fingertips.
Don't leave me in desire, carelessly, secretly pining your lips.

Don't make me swell up with laughter that brings tears to my eyes.
Don't allow me to feel comfort that you may never make me cry.
Don't speak, please have mercy, lie to me, say no truth.
Don't set my heart on fire, by saying 'I love you.'

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Faithless

Sultry dreams of night
That scale the threshold of my bed.
The faithless murmurings
Of thoughts derived but never said.
Entangled between the sheets,
The draft cold air embraces me,
Blistering my skin, knocking on my bones,
Like death had come to claim me.
If I had dreamed of lovers,
Lost, or denied, or secretly waiting,
I’d look for distant comfort
In a cave of knowledge slowly fading.

Love, lust, lies hold the same gravitational prodigy.
A cunning web of recklessness, passion and profanity.
Every night a battle to fight
The demons of Never-Never land.
The trumpet sounds, the bell chimes,
A declaration of freedom to explore Wonderland.
Soaring high, dipping low,
Reaching places never been before.
Wonder how, wonder why,
Wonder if…the case scenario.

The moon remains steadfast,
Guarding my dreams evoked by insomnia.
The nomad in my mind crosses
The void towards hysteria.
Dreams are poignant, fictitious
Makings of the Underworld.
Begrudging peace, inviting scandal,
Raping enduring souls.

7 degrees, I awaken to an icy chill.
My covers feel like glaciers,
Scathing the surface of my skin
As I lay still.
I wait as my heart beat decelerates,
My breathing returns to moderate,
Until once again I start drifting to sleep,
Sinking deep into the ocean of night.
The molecules of air surrounds me,
Picking my dreams, colliding in their plight.

In my dreams I become faithless, breathless, shameless
With the stars…my quiet audience.
Sleep forms a sanctuary for the mind,
Untouched by reality’s laborious conscience.

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